When Dan approached me to share his new book co-authored with his daughter, Jacquelyn, I was thrilled! If you have children entering the dating arena, it is a must read! Once I started reading, I found it hard to put it down as the words echoed in my mind with my own children. I have a fourteen-year-old son who’s entering his Freshman year of high school and an eleven-year-old daughter who’s entering her second year of middle school. The 10 Myths of Teen Dating helped me as a parent navigate this pivotal point in their live. I did not receive compensation for sharing their book. Just passing on a good read.
His daughter, Jacquelyn Anderson, has had a great deal of experience listening to girls’ relationship challenges and concerns from the time she was a teenager and now as a high school English teacher in the Pacific Northwest.
As a young teacher Daniel was troubled by how his students approached dating and relationships and began to teach them myths about dating. He is bringing that same passion and commitment to help parents teach their daughters about dating, with his first book, The 10 Myths of Teen Dating: Truths Your Daughter Needs to Know to Date Smart, Avoid Disaster and Protect Her Future, to be published by David C. Cook in September 2016 and co-authored with his daughter Jacquelyn.
When he is not trying to change lives, Daniel can be found rooting for the Portland Trailblazers, continuing to raise his three grown children, being a committed husband of 27 years, and following Christ’s calling at Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon.
Please help me welcome Dan and Jacquelyn! Blessings, Rebecca
A Father and Daughter’s Insight Into Teen Dating: How to Know if Your Daughter is in a Secret Relationship? Jacquelyn recently went to visit a friend stationed in Okinawa to hang out with her 3 year old for a couple weeks. His name is Ethan and he is a tiny spitfire. A few days into the visit, Ethan was running around the dining room table in an attempt to avoid putting on his clothes for school. Her friend pulled the classic mom-reverse-psychology and announced “Okay, fine, no school for you today.” Faster than lighting, Ethan was in his shirt and running toward the car. Sometimes when we tell your children “no”, they have a desire to do the opposite. This is uniquely true when it comes to dating. From our own father-daughter experience, saying a hard “no” to dating just made Jacquelyn’s dating life go underground. She was definitely not alone amongst her friends in getting involved in secret relationships. Here are 5 possible signs that your daughter is in a secret relationship:
She is insanely protective of her cell phone Yes, they are usually attached at the hip to this thing, but if it seems more than usual it could mean that she is protecting her communication with a certain someone. Cell phones are the lifeline for anyone in a relationship, especially one that is a secret. Privacy is very important to your teenage daughter, so this is a tough issue to tackle. But both my daughter and I believe a phone that is password protected is an invitation to secrecy for your daughter.
She is vague about the details of her plans Girls are communicators and planners by nature. If she doesn’t have concrete information for you about where she is going, what she is doing, and with who this might be a sign that she is hiding something from you. You should ask many questions about her plans. This is no guarantee she will be honest with you, but at least you will have a few details that you can verify.
She is acting differently although nothing has appeared to change While mood swings are common for teenagers, be cautious of a drastic change in attitude or even your daughter’s appearance. If she used to ride horses and wear pink, but she suddenly comes home and wants to buy an all-black wardrobe, this could mean that she is being influenced by an outside source. The all-consuming rush of hormones that comes with a boyfriend can cause your daughter to lose sight of some of the things that were once important to her.
She wants to spend more time than before at a specific location If your daughter is lactose-intolerant, but suddenly wants to get ice cream daily after school, this could be a sign that she is hiding something from you. If she suddenly wants to go to youth group two hours early, but never has before, there might just be a certain someone there that she wants to spend time with. Changes in routine should be acknowledged, particularly if there is no other obvious catalyst for the change.
She experiences a change in friend groups or loses friends she once had before Out of all the possible signs, this one is the most alarming. As your daughter dives into a secret relationship, she will need to clear out some serious time in her schedule to plan to see her boyfriend. This could mean putting friends that once were close to her on the back burner in favor of her secret boyfriend, his friends, or both. We talk a great deal in our book about the need to communicate and teach your daughter about dating rather that just forbidding her from dating. But, if your family agreement involves not dating then it may be wise to consider the possibility that your daughter could be in a secret relationship. Daniel and Jacquelyn Anderson are a father-daughter author team whose first book The Ten Myths of Teen Dating: Truths Your Daughter Needs to Know to Date Smart, Avoid Disaster, and Protect Her Future is now available on pre-sale at Amazon.com.
Now it’s your turn to read 10 Myths of Dating as we are giving away one complimentary copy. Simply comment below oonhow you’ve taugh your child(ren) about dating? Your name will then be placed in our drawing.
On August 29, 2016, we will randomly select a winner. The winner must live in the continental US and supply his/her mailing address to us no later than September 5, 2016. Onecopy of each will then be shipped directly to the winner’s address provided.