Happy Father’s Day!!!
I’m so excited to introduce my guest blogger this week….drum role please…my husband Randy Krusee. We met in 1998, married in 2001, welcomed Austin in 2002, and welcomed Alicia in 2004. I invited him to share his experience as a stay-at-home Dad with you. Please welcome Randy Krusee!
Being a husband and a father of two has been an incredible journey these past thirteen years! Going from a rugged plumbing contractor to Mr. Mom took four months to settle in. I’m the one staying home and not Rebecca? I would beat myself up saying, “Am I really cut out for this?” We’d decided before the children were born that one parent would stay home.
I’m not aware of any Mr. Mom boot camps out there that could prepare you for the long haul ahead. It took a solid four months until I settled in, and not to worry about what others thought of me in my non-traditional role.
This period also turned me into a real softy being able to look into my son’s eyes, and say, “I am your Dad. Wow! Two years later having a daughter. Incredible! What an opportunity I’ve been blessed with!
Yes, it was very difficult at times! No doubt! Times of changing messy diapers, cleaning up vomit, calming fevers, sleepless nights, and dropping one off at pre-school while entertaining the other at home. For awhile, the only words I heard during the day were, “Goo Goo Gaa Gaa!” I learned getting out, and talking to adults occasionally helped considerably.
Some days you get everything done around the house. Followed by the next day that nothing would get accomplished. Things are sure different nowadays than during our childhood. Some dads back then would come home from a hard day’s work, and demand a hot meal to be set before them on the kitchen table. They would look around, and say something like, “What have you done all day,” to their wives. Really?
Hats off to our moms, all moms, and recently some dads who’ve stayed home through the years! It is an extremely hard job, but most rewarding.
So, if you are able to stay home with your kids, the rewards are priceless!
All you stay-at-home parents feel free to chime in and share!
Fr. Blaine Hammond is a Priest in the Episcopal Church, currently working at St. Andrew’s in Ben Lomond, California. He is married to Dr. Elizabeth Forbes, and they have three children; all in their 40s now.
Before his ordination, he worked several years for the Boeing Company in Everett and Renton, Washington, for the Post Office, drove buses for Seattle and King County, rebound and repaired books at a seminary library in Denver, ran the computer division at a small event management company near Denver, and supervised the Word Processing Department at the JFK Child Development Center, part of the University of Colorado Medical Center, in Denver.
He obtained his Bachelor’s Degree in English from the University of Washington, a Master of Divinity Degree from the Iliff School of Theology in Denver, and a Certificate in Anglican Studies from the Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley, California.
Since being ordained, he has worked for congregations in Lyons, Colorado, Castle Rock, Colorado; Seaview, Washington, and his current position. Also, he has volunteered with congregations in Clayton, California, Alameda, California, Battleground, Washington, and Seattle, Washington.
Fr. Blaine Hammond leads the congregation where I teach pre-school. It’s a treat to watch him tell our little ones about God in chapel each month. Also, he contributes a column in The Piper church newsletter. So, I asked him to share his insight with us this week, and am thrilled to have a male perspective! Please welcome Fr. Blaine Hammond!
A professor of psychiatry and medical humanities at Harvard, Robert Coles, wrote a book titled The Spiritual Life of Children (1990, Houghton Mifflin, Boston). What interested me about it was the way that he set aside the preconceptions of his profession and listened to the things the children had to say; and having done that, how he worked to understand the ways that children tried to fit their understandings about God and religion into the world they were in the process of encountering and trying to learn about, and vice versa.
My observations of children, having raised three to adulthood along with my wife, have convinced me that children are not simply small, unlearned and incomplete adults. They are, in many ways, something quite different from adult humans, in terms of the ways their brains and bodies work, and the ways their spiritual lives work. It is that, I think, that Jesus was talking about when he said that we not only need to be willing to receive children as worthy of our adult attention, we need to learn from them and even try to become more like them if we are to be able to understand and enter the kingdom of God.
Those can be hard things to think about when a tired, manipulative, demanding, whiny child is interrupting us for the fifth time during a telephone conversation or making our shopping experience a monstrosity. But when we are not trying to correct, mold or escape from our children, watching them and listening to them can really teach us lessons about looking at, experiencing and thinking about the world in ways we have forgotten. It can also teach us lessons about what faith, love, understanding and hope mean.
One of the things Dr. Coles reports was a conversation that ensued when a group of children heard an ambulance siren go by outside. “I noted, yet once more, how often children (like adults) think of God as a judge, a critic, or a benefactor: one who rewards and punishes. The children also managed to give God a psychology, one not unlike their own.” They had been talking about a sickbed picture, and the discussion turned to whether God was, or could be, like the doctor in the picture. Many of us adults have formed enough of picture of God to satisfy ourselves. I wonder how often we can sit with a child, not to teach the child what God is like, but to listen as they speculate about what God could be like? Or even to speculate with other adults, or by ourselves, after so many years of having our opinions settled?
We often think we need to protect children against thinking about the difficult things of life. But they think about them anyway. Children are right there at ground level, where things happen that we don’t even notice. Hidden from our eyes in the grass are dead birds and small animals, which the children discover and wonder about as they play, along with the discarded items of adult life. What do they think about these things? How does it affect what they think about God and the world, life and death? We’ll never find out if we don’t open the subject up with them.