Tag Archive | wife

What Does The Bible Say About Marriage?

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Marriage and family are a key to a society’s structure. So, I asked myself this weekend “What does the Bible say about marriage?” As I combed through the concordance, there is many references to marriage, husbands and wives. I have selected a few to share with you.

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1. Binding Contract

Marriage is a covenant between a husband and a wife.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? – 2 Corinthians 6:14

This particular verse has meaning to me in that I wanted to marry a man with the same faith values as me, because I knew there could be disagreements about such things as going to church, reading the Bible, prayer, etc.; especially when it came to raising our children.

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2. Purity

Faithfulness to one another is key.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. – Hebrews 13:4

I understand this verse can be countercultural if you watch various films and television programs where partners live together before marriage, spouses cheat on one another, etc. However, I believe God is protecting the sanctity of marriages as it is a holy union between husband and wife.

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3. Blessing or Curse

As wives, we can either be a blessing or a curse to our husbands.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones. – Ephesians 12:4

I look back on a time when a friend shamed my husband in front of me and the kids. I remember how awful he felt. Unfortunately, we had to end that unhealthy friendship, because we understand the importance of wholesome relationships.

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4. Respect

It’s important to respect one another and our marital positions.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. – Ephesians 5:22

I know this verse is not very popular in our American culture today; especially with the feminist movement.  However, God is a God of order and He is above all and places the husband as head of the household.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; – Ephesians 5:25

In addition to the huge responsibility of being head of his family, a husband is given the duty to love his wife sacraficially.

Frankly, I appreciate this covering from my husband. Now, is it always easy to submit, “No.” I grew up very independent, career driven and didn’t marry until 35 years of age. So, I am learning what that looks like.  As a result, I believe God has blessed our marriage of 17 years.

These verses are just a few I discovered on marriage.  There are many more in the Bible. I encourage you to seek for yourself.

What principles is your marriage built on? I would love to hear about them.

Blessings, Rebecca

Marriage

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Recently, I was reading Change Agent by Os Hillman where he cites divorce statistics. Sadly, approximately 45-50% of first marriages, 60-67% of second marriages, and 70-73% third marriages fail. That’s a lot of heartbreak!

Then, I thought, What does the Bible say about marriage? I discovered a lot, but wanted to share two ideas I believe could help many marriages be healthier.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He Himself

being the Savior of the body. But as the church

is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be in everything. – Ephesians 5:22-24

  1. Wives submit to their husbands. In today’s culture, submit is a taboo word. Due most in part by people who have abused their God given authority. However, the definition of submit is simply to accept or yield to the authority or will of another person; namely your spouse. I’ll be the first to admit it’s not easy as I am a very strong and independent woman. However, I find when I do, there is less strife in our marriage.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and

gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her

by the washing of water with the word, that He might present Himself

to the church in all her glory, having no spot of wrinkle or any such thing;

but that she should be holy and blameless. So, husbands ought also to

love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife,

loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and

cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because

we are members of His body. – Ephesians 5:25-30

2. Husbands love your wives. Again, it today’s culture, men are taught to be strong, self-sufficient  and stuff your emotions. Yet, one definition of love is a person or thing that one loves; beloved, dearest. Perhaps marriages would be happier if husbands (and wives) loved their spouses unconditionally. To further define characteristics of love, here’s what the Bible lists.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Wow, imagine if all marriages were filled with this selfless love! Maybe, just maybe, the divorce rate would diminish significantly or be eliminated entirely.

For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife;

and the two shall become one flesh. – Ephesians 5:31

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Blessings, Rebecca

Do you have any marriage insight you’d like to share with us? If so, I’d love to hear it!

Guest Blog by Tracey Clayton

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As we wrap up 2015, I’d like to wish you and yours happiness in the New Year!

This week, my guest blog writer is Tracey Clayton. She is a full-time mom of three girls. Tracey loves to cook, bake, sew and spend quality time with her daughters. She’s passionate  about writing, and her motto is “Live the life you love, love the life you live.” You can follow her on Facebook. Please welcome Tracey!

Blessings, Rebecca

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Things that the kids can learn from their surroundings

The child’s environment plays an important role in his/her education. Parents should make every effort to ensure that this environment does not bring negative effects to the child, and they must make a great effort to guide their child to the right track.

Parents are the role models

As the child’s immediate environment is the family, it is inevitable that the child takes the characteristics of his/her parents. Therefore, parents should be careful about how they treat their children; it is not strange if children become mean or very aggressive if parents show identical behavior in front of them. Parents need to have a healthy attitude towards a situation that presents itself. If a problem occurs, for example, they must be able to show the resolve or at least seem to have courage to overcome it. As parents are the role models for their children, kids often simply copy the look and behavior.

Peer pressure

Apart from education provided by the parents, the children also receive education in their immediate environment, the most important thing being school. The relationship with teachers and peers has an effect on children’s education. Children often tend to follow what their friends do.

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The importance of games

Play is essential to the child especially in early years. Combining learning and entertainment is an interesting concept involving the game. Through play, the children are not subjected to any pressure and progress at their own pace. It contributes significantly to the motor development in the simplest possible way. This is also a way to develop communication between children and parents. When they play pretend, children understand the world by trying things they have learned and they have seen, and reflecting their impressions. Just looking at my girls play, I could learn a lot about what they feel and think.

Games with rules

At about time they start school, children start to play games governed by rules, which they must comply. This encourages them to use strategies, logic and their moral judgment. Board games, card games and team sports all involve rules. They help children to learn to play in turn, negotiate, solve problems and get along with others.

Useful toys

Toys are an essential part of education, proper development and education in a child’s life. Apart from getting my kids toys that are appropriate for their age and stimulate learning, I also allowed them to play with different household items such as pots and magnets, and I even got them a Zado rug, with alphabet, so that they could subconsciously learn while playing.

The influence of technology

It is certain that the development of technology significantly changed the role of parents. It was really hard for me to comprehend that something that was not part of my growing up, is now an integral part of childhood for my children. However, regardless of all the technological wonders that surround us – the kids are still kids! That is, while kids acquire certain skills through games, mobile phones and computers as they grow up, playing with a ball, riding a bike, and other small, everyday activities, precisely at the appropriate age and in an appropriate manner – will not be able to get compensation later. Your participation as a parent is of paramount importance, much to the benefit and satisfaction of both you and your child.

The positive education demands patience because the child does not adhere very quickly to change. Parents must accompany the children and encourage them, providing everything necessary for the proper development while taking care of children’s immediate surroundings.

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Guest Blog by Leilani White

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I met Leilani as a fellow Mommy blogger. I asked her to share her parental insight with us, and she writes about being a mom and stepmom.

Unfortunately, movies and television often portray Stepmothers as not so nice. Let’s turn that perception around, because there are a lot of awesome Stepparents who are loving and caring. Please welcome Leilani White!

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How many out there are stepparents? I’m a mother of 4. Trinity is 15, Leonard III is 11, Alana is 5, and LaRae is 3. They definitely keep me on my toes (especially the 5 year old), but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I’m a stepmother to the older two, but I’ve always worked very hard at making sure all four kids feel equally loved, nurtured, and pushed to excel in their strengths.  

The job of a stepparent is a very thankless job, and not everyone is cut out for the task. Being a stepchild myself, I believe that there are two kinds of stepparents out there: the kinds that treat the kids as if they’re their own, and the kind that don’t.

Growing up, I had a stepdad who always provided for me, but he never took any real interest in me, or anything that I took interest in. So when I met my husband and eventually met his kids, I made sure that I didn’t push myself on them. I gave them the respect they deserved, and they gave me the same in return. That was seven years ago, and now I have a total of four kids.  

I make sure that each child knows independently that I love them and why I love them. I point out little differences that set them apart from my other kids, so that they know they’re unique, and I love and admire their uniqueness. I acknowledge their strengths, and help them grow from their weaknesses. 

Whether you’re a stepparent or not, it’s important to make children know that they’re loved and that you’re always in their corner. It’s never to early to teach them what unconditional love is. Children need stability, a firm foundation to build on, and love poured into them. It takes a special person to be an awesome stepparent, and even though I’ve been one for seven years, I’m still learning new things everyday. There have been plenty of times that I’ve had to apologize for not handling something the right way, even with my own kids. But they all know that I love them to the end, and they know that they’re all an intricate tool that makes our family run smoothly. It’s definitely a full time job, but the love I have for all my kids in the end, make it all worth it. 

Leilani White

www.lyfeshowsup.com

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Guest Blog by Fr. Blaine Hammond

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Fr. Blaine Hammond is a Priest in the Episcopal Church, currently working at St. Andrew’s in Ben Lomond, California.  He is married to Dr. Elizabeth Forbes, and they have three children; all in their 40s now.

Before his ordination, he worked several years for the Boeing Company in Everett and Renton, Washington, for the Post Office, drove buses for Seattle and King County, rebound and repaired books at a seminary library in Denver, ran the computer division at a small event management company near Denver, and supervised the Word Processing Department at the JFK Child Development Center, part of the University of Colorado Medical Center, in Denver.

He obtained his Bachelor’s Degree in English from the University of Washington, a Master of Divinity Degree from the Iliff School of Theology in Denver, and a Certificate in Anglican Studies from the Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley, California.

Since being ordained, he has worked for congregations in Lyons, Colorado, Castle Rock, Colorado; Seaview, Washington, and his current position. Also, he has volunteered with congregations in Clayton, California, Alameda, California, Battleground, Washington, and Seattle, Washington.

Fr. Blaine Hammond leads the congregation where I teach pre-school. It’s a treat to watch him tell our little ones about God in chapel each month. Also, he contributes a column in The Piper church newsletter. So, I asked him to share his insight with us this week, and am thrilled to have a male perspective! Please welcome Fr. Blaine Hammond!

Blessings, Rebecca

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A professor of psychiatry and medical humanities at Harvard, Robert Coles, wrote a book titled The Spiritual Life of Children (1990, Houghton Mifflin, Boston).  What interested me about it was the way that he set aside the preconceptions of his profession and listened to the things the children had to say; and having done that, how he worked to understand the ways that children tried to fit their understandings about God and religion into the world they were in the process of encountering and trying to learn about, and vice versa.

My observations of children, having raised three to adulthood along with my wife, have convinced me that children are not simply small, unlearned and incomplete adults.  They are, in many ways, something quite different from adult humans, in terms of the ways their brains and bodies work, and the ways their spiritual lives work.  It is that, I think, that Jesus was talking about when he said that we not only need to be willing to receive children as worthy of our adult attention, we need to learn from them and even try to become more like them if we are to be able to understand and enter the kingdom  of God.

Those can be hard things to think about when a tired, manipulative, demanding, whiny child is interrupting us for the fifth time during a telephone conversation or making our shopping experience a monstrosity.  But when we are not trying to correct, mold or escape from our children, watching them and listening to them can really teach us lessons about looking at, experiencing and thinking about the world in ways we have forgotten.  It can also teach us lessons about what faith, love, understanding and hope mean.

One of the things Dr. Coles reports was a conversation that ensued when a group of children heard an ambulance siren go by outside.  “I noted, yet once more, how often children (like adults) think of God as a judge, a critic, or a benefactor: one who rewards and punishes.  The children also managed to give God a psychology, one not unlike their own.”  They had been talking about a sickbed picture, and the discussion turned to whether God was, or could be, like the doctor in the picture.  Many of us adults have formed enough of picture of God to satisfy ourselves.  I wonder how often we can sit with a child, not to teach the child what God is like, but to listen as they speculate about what God could be like?  Or even to speculate with other adults, or by ourselves, after so many years of having our opinions settled?

We often think we need to protect children against thinking about the difficult things of life.  But they think about them anyway.  Children are right there at ground level, where things  happen that we don’t even notice.  Hidden from our eyes in the grass are dead birds and small animals, which the children discover and wonder about as they play, along with the discarded items of adult life.  What do they think about these things?  How does it affect what they think about God and the world, life and death?  We’ll never find out if we don’t open the subject up with them.